Low esteem lying dating
I know nothing about this woman’s age or circumstances.I do not know for certain that she is a woman, except that she describes herself as “attractive (not stunning, but decent,)” and “stunning” is a word not usually used in connection with men.The state of mind she is describing is what is referred to commonly as “low self-esteem,” which, in her case, seems to have reached devastating proportions.She is correct in pointing out that the attitudes we have towards ourselves, and towards the world in general, grow out of the way we are treated growing up.They are not suffering from an illness, such as a major depression, which is a remitting and relapsing disorder; they are suffering from a set of long- held beliefs-- from misconceptions they have learned growing up. Treatment has to be directed towards changing these ideas. Some people with low self-esteem continue to feel bad about themselves despite having had signal successes in the world.This is called the “faker syndrome.” They think that, although everyone thinks well of them, and they themselves know they have accomplished specific goals, that very soon they will be asked to do something beyond their abilities.The world will see, then, that they have been “faking it.” One such man, a leader in his scientific field, came home from Europe with a plaque denoting his having won an international award.
The first task of treatment is for the patient to come to understand the particular distortions of his/her perspective.I read your book: “Why You’re Still Single” (among many, many other single self-help books,) and I’m here because I trust your opinion. Hauck believes that seeking higher self esteem is a bad idea. You may decide you are a good person because you are good looking, a hard worker or do well at your job. As I see it, you’re in the middle of a vicious cycle. The more confident you get at it, the more success you’ll have at it. Start there, watch your confidence grow, and please come back to let me know how it’s going. Much love, Evan Heather; “Overcoming The Rating Game” by Paul Hauck might be useful book for you ( ). Self Esteem is based on qualities that can change….meaning your self esteem can come right back down again.Feeling profoundly pessimistic, he/she will not try to accomplish anything worthwhile.Anything challenging will seem to be too difficult. Such persons are also likely to feel guilty besides feeling inadequate and ineffectual. They are suffering from a chronic, low-level depression which does not respond to anti-depressant drugs, although psychiatric practice being what it is nowadays, they are likely to be given a trial of these drugs.
Then, in those specific circumstances, the patient must learn to ask himself/herself whether this is one of those times when that feeling is justified, or whether it grows out of the prejudice.